there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize