is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize