I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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