Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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