He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
