Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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