Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
