Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
