grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm gonna fight the coyote
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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