My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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