We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
