Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
