we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
