carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
