this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
