i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
