I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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