I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
