Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
