he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I intend to get homeless drunk
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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