mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
