some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
