arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
