That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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