So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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