Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
