if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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