Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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