My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
