You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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