just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
