Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
And then he peed in my hair
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