JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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