We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
