Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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