is wine microwaveable?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
