so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
