no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
