one two three fourrrrnication!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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