hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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