I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
