he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
