I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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