The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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