Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
