He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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