Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
