Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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