is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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