Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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