wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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