We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
