I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
