i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
