Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize