I wish I could teleport
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
