Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
