yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
