Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
